Sometimes you might think that the only way to discipline kids is to shout and scream. But is there no other way to deal with the situation? What does yelling lead to? Does it do you any good? Does it really bring out the best in your child? Of course, not! Well, your child might be driving you crazy at times, but instead of losing your cool, you should try to be patient and not become irritated. Remember, punishment is not a teaching tool to discipline your child.
If shouting is your way of disciplining your child, then chances are that your rude behavior is only diminishing your child’s sense of security. It could ruin their self-esteem, and you would never want that for your child, right? Studies consistently show that shouting as a discipline strategy can only make behavior problems worse. It doesn’t end here. Rather, such behavior can actually lead to a vicious cycle of bad behavior followed by yelling, which leads to poor behavior and more yelling.
Yelling is not a good strategy to discipline kids and encourage good behavior. It is rather intimidating and activates fight or flight response in a child and temporarily shuts down his sense of logical thinking. As a result, he will stop processing information. What does this lead to? The lack of understanding only makes matters worse. When a parent shouts at their child, they are only teaching kids to react in the same way when they are upset.
If you want your child to learn that he is behaving in an inappropriate way, he must be able to understand what you are saying.
The No-Scream Solution To Discipline Kids
You must make a conscious effort to keep the power struggle from escalating. Remember, you are not fighting a battle with your child and never use force to discipline kids. Try to work together out a better solution that would be a win-win for both sides. Now you must be wondering how to go about it?
Well, it is quite simple.
Start by stating your position simply and then offer your child a few choices. When there are some alternatives to choose from, this will make him feel that he still has some control over the situation. For example, if your child wants to have cookies for breakfast and there are no biscuits available in the pantry, you can still offer a few other options, such as breakfast cereal, granola bars, or flavored yogurt.
However, if that doesn’t work, it is a good idea to defuse the tension with humor. Think innovatively and be cautious when it comes to dealing with his defiant behavior. Singing a song in a hoarse voice or doing a silly dance may just do the trick to put your child in a laughing mode. When the tension eases, you can heave a sigh of relief and take the middle path to discipline kids.
Set Clear Rules To Discipline Your Child
You are less likely to resort to yelling if you have set clear rules for members of your family. More so, you should lead the way in honoring the household rules so as to set yourself as an example before your child. When you follow rules, your kids are less likely to break them. Make sure the list of household rules is displayed at prominent places your child visits frequently in the home.
However, resist the urge to yell, shout, or scream if the rules are broken. Instead, find a middle path to teach discipline to your child.
Discuss Negative Consequences in Advance
You might want to ensure that your child clearly understands the negative consequences of breaking the household rules. This may include taking away privileges, using time-out, or even using logical consequences so that your preschooler takes a lesson.
Follow the rules and carry out the threats. Empty threats and nagging are not going to work here. If your child is watching TV at study time, tell him to turn it off. Don’t shout to discipline kids. When he does not, go and turn it off yourself. Then it is time to apply the consequences of not paying heed to your words. When you state a consequence and follow through, it will give your child a lifetime lesson and they will learn to behave properly.
Set Your Limits
You must exhibit a state of calm even when your child is playing on your nerves. It’s difficult but not impossible. By doing so, you will become a good role model for your little boy, who is less likely to behave irresponsibly if he knows you mean business without actually being mean.
A gentle yet stern tone is all you need to use when giving behavior directions to your child. The calmer and softer your tone, the greater the impact of your words will be. Your child is more likely to grasp your instructions faster and become disciplined.
Help Them Explain Feelings
One of the best ways to raise disciplined kids is by teaching them how to express their feelings positively. If your child exhibits bad behavior, try to figure out the reason for the same before you lose your cool.
Put Yourself in Their Shoes
How would you react when somebody yells at you? Of course, the screaming behavior would not go down well with you, right? When you want to discipline kids, you want them to learn proper behavioral antics. No parent would want to hurt his child’s self-esteem or sense of self-worth. You want your boy to learn what acceptable behavior is, without making him feel hurt, ashamed, or embarrassed.
No matter how hard you try not to get upset, stressed, or overwhelmed at your child’s misbehavior, you need to keep your cool. It is natural to feel your temper escalating despite trying to follow all these steps. And then, one small mishap from your child, you tend to lose your temper sometimes, resulting in a spell of yelling and screaming. You raise your voice, but then realize you should not have gone to that extent. But there is no taking it back now. What next?
Well, the idea is to talk to your child and explain that you never meant to raise your voice. Simultaneously, explain it to them that it frustrates you when they don’t listen. Take a promise that they will do it better next time and make a promise that you will never shout at them.
Ravneet Kaur
Ravneet also blogs at www.wellnessguide.com
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