Truth About Sex After Baby: Things You Must Know

You have recently had a baby and are wondering whether it is the right time for sex. Well, your doctor will tell you that you have to wait for at least six weeks before having sex after baby.  There is no such thing as right time for having sex after giving birth. Perhaps you have to wait until you both are physically and emotionally ready. It is important not to put yourself under any pressure to go for it sooner. As a woman, your body and mind need time to recover from the trauma it has gone through after childbirth. It is okay to wait until you are ready.

Learn to rekindle interest in sex after baby birth

How Soon Can You Resume Sex After Baby?

Childbirth brings about a lot of emotions – happy and nervous. But it is a traumatic process for a woman, as you have to bear the unbearable pain to deliver your baby. The delicate vaginal tissues are strained, torn, and bruised. The recovery may take long.

  • A few couples start having sex within the first month of delivery.
  • But a majority of couples choose to wait until six weeks or longer until the female feels she is ready for it. The healing process takes longer for new moms who have had a tear or episiotomy.
  • Some couples prefer to enjoy the first few months with their newborn and wait until after six months before resuming sex after a baby.

A 2016 report published in a medical journal claims that 85% of new moms with vaginal damage suffer pain that lasts for several weeks and prefer to wait before having sex again. Unfortunately, you cannot do much about it and it has a bearing on your preparedness to have sex after baby. All you can do is engage in some pelvic floor exercises to boost blood flow to the area.

Did You Know?

When you are nursing a baby, your body releases oxytocin, the feel-good hormone that kindles the love for your baby, but suppresses your libido. Even breastfeeding may affect your feelings to have sex after baby. So you have got to give yourself time and wait until your body becomes yours again.

Sex After Having A Baby: It’s Different

Sex after giving birth feels different, whether you have had a C-section, normal delivery, or an assisted vaginal birth. Your body might not be in the same shape or weight as before. Not only this, your body could feel downright uncomfortable, with milk-filled boobs, stretched out tummy, and sore genitals. It could take your body some time before returning to normal.

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Other changes in your body after childbirth may include:

  • Vaginal grazes
  • Varicose veins in legs
  • Loose abdominal skin and muscle tone
  • Enlarged breasts (smaller breasts if you are not breastfeeding)
  • Episiotomy or C-section scars
  • Stretch marks
  • Patchy color changes to nipples
  • Weight gain

Sex After Baby Needs Time

If you’ve had a difficult birth or C-section, your body will need time. The pain or discomfort during sex after giving birth usually improves with time. You or your partner may feel sex is not as satisfying now as it used to be before the birth of your child. The reason could be stretched out muscles that get loose after a lot of stretching during delivery. Remember, your body suffers a lot during childbirth and you must return to normalcy to have perfect indulgence in sex after baby birth.

Your Feelings About Sex After Having A Baby

Since your feelings about sex may be little different from that of your partner after the birth of your baby, you may be worried whether your partner feels rejected or unwanted for being denied those intimate moments. It’s a good idea to talk with your spouse about how you feel and how he feels about the situation. He wants sex but you are in no position to do so – perhaps you need some time to heal yourself before getting ready for those intimate moments again. Be explicit about it, so there are no hard feelings.

Some men start to respect their women more after having seen their partner go through pregnancy and delivery pangs. These guys are able to articulate their emotions easily and become more considerate of the changing needs of their better half who has just delivered their little bundle of joy.

Keep the lines of communication with your spouse open. Let him convey his feelings through words. You want to give him space to open out and share his concerns about restrained feelings of lovemaking.

Ideas to Rebuild Intimacy: Sex After Giving Birth

Although spending time together may be a challenge and focusing on each other’s needs may become even more challenging when you’re new parents, it’s important to be with your partner. Spending a few “we moments” can help relieve stress and incite those intimate moments when you are ready.

Go for a walk or have a meal together so that you can spend some “we time.”

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If you are feeling guilty about not being ready for sex after childbirth yet, there is nothing to fret about it. You are not doing it intentionally. The reason for not being able to enjoy sexual pleasure is different. And you both are aware of it. It’s okay to think about sex as the end point. Your newborn needs greater attention at the moment. After all, you want your tiny tot to have the best childhood.

Nevertheless, there are still ways to give and receive sexual pleasure. Spending a few moments cuddling, holding hands or kissing each other could take some stress away. Such affection can build up and gradually lead to sex after birth when both of you are ready for it.

For the initial sessions after childbirth, choose a sex position where the pace and depth of penetration can be controlled. You want to feel comfortable while having sex after giving birth. So choose a position with yourself on top to feel comfortable. Another position could be one where both partners face each other lying side-by-side.

Male partners must be gentle and patient while doing sex after birth. It’s not a good idea to force your way in. Start when she is ready and do not pressure her into having sex after giving birth before she is fully prepared for it.

Ravneet Kaur
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Ravneet Kaur

Ravneet is a proficient author on mindful parenting, child psychology, and pregnancy-related issues. Her practical writing focuses on helping parents develop a compassionate understanding of child behavior and build strong family bonds. She also researches and writes on women’s health, pregnancy problems, relationship issues, teens, and child development and education.
Ravneet also blogs at www.wellnessguide.com
Ravneet Kaur
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